What Are You Looking for in a Husband?

Some of my favorite passages of Scripture are those where men of God stand and converse with the Lord face to face.  These men were friends of God.

And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend.  Exodus 33:11

  • Abraham was called the friend of God:

And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.  James 2:23

The New Testament equivalent is a man that allows the written word to dwell in him richly.   The written word testifies of Christ; a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24b

  • Moses got his priorities right:

By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter;

Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;

Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt:   Hebrews 11:24 – 26a

  • Job was a man who eschewed evil.

There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.  Job 1:1

According to Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of the Old and New Testaments, the word eschew means to turn away from.  In a day and age when men are seeking evil and not good, a day when men are turning aside from that which is good and right, it is uncommon to find a man who turns aside from evil both in his public and private life.

  • Solomon was a man who desired God’s wisdom.

And God said to Solomon, Because this was in thine heart, and thou hast not asked riches, wealth, or honour, nor the life of thine enemies, neither yet hast asked long life; but hast asked wisdom and knowledge for thyself, that thou mayest judge my people, over whom I have made thee king: Wisdom and knowledge is granted unto thee;  II Chronicles 1:11 & 12a

There are many other faithful men in Scripture whose lives God recorded for our example.  You may want to do your own study to find godly characteristics that you would like to see in a future husband.  Honor the Lord by using these traits to find someone whose heart God already rules.  

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matthew 6:33

What Are You Looking for in a Wife?

Sometimes I think that we put less (rational) thought into choosing a mate, than we do when choosing a vehicle.  Oh, that one is a pretty color, but does it have a motor?  Oh, that one is a classic, but you can only drive it in parades?  Oh, that one has 500 HP, but can you afford to buy the gas?  Oh, that one is as fast as a rocket, but is it street legal?  Whatever happened to just being practical or making a wise decision?

So what makes our decision about a life’s mate wise and practical?  Are you going to have children?  Don’t pick someone who hates kids.  Are you looking for someone to raise and teach the kids certain values?  Don’t pick someone who doesn’t share those values.  Are you looking for someone that you can trust?  Don’t pick someone who looks really good but is unstable.  Are you looking for a Christian believer?  Don’t pick someone who isn’t a Christian with the idea that you will convert them.

Chances are you are not going to meet someone this week and know within two weeks, three months or even a year that this is the one that meets all the above.  Even someone who professes to be a Christian should not be accepted as such based on their word alone.  

Does their life action match what they say?  Are they under the Spirit’s control?  Do they manipulate?  Is the Word of God important to them?  What kind of friends do they have?  How do they handle money?  Do they love the brethren?  Observing all this takes time and it doesn’t need to take place in a romantic relationship.  

Before I met my wife, I came up with what I considered to be some biblical guidelines to keep me on track and to help me find God’s will for a mate.  

The desire of my heart was to find a wife that was willing to help me find God’s will and who would support me in doing so.  I was also looking for someone who would help me raise our kids according to biblical values.   My heart’s desire was for a wife who was loyal and faithful and in whom my heart could safely trust.  I was looking for a woman of godly character.  

When it was time, I knew it was to be her.  There were no nagging doubts.  I found her or I should say that God led us to each other.  I have often said of her; “I dated some prettier, but none more beautiful”. 

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.  Proverbs 31:28 – 31

Are You Lonely?

I remember a particularly difficult and lonely time in my life. During that time I heard a preacher on the radio say; Walking with God can be lonely,…..but it is a sweet loneliness.

(To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David.) O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.  Psalm 139:1 – 18