If your wife is further along spiritually than you, you are probably wondering how you can be a spiritual leader to her under such conditions.  First of all don’t be discouraged.  You don’t have to have a college degree to be a spiritual leader.  What God requires, He also delivers.  Here are some observations that may be helpful.

• Husbands need to lead biblically.  Christ is the shepherd.  He doesn’t herd the sheep from behind.  Herding from behind scares the sheep and they will scatter.  Jesus leads the sheep which means He is out front and the sheep are following Him. They follow Him because they know Him and He knows them.

Leading biblically is about relationships.  Does your wife know you love her?  Is she secure in your love for her or does she have reason to doubt?  Does she know that aside from your relationship with God that she and the children are the most important priorities you have?  

Are you making an effort to love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it?  Are you loving her as you love your own body and as you love yourself?  This love in action is servant leadership. It is the result of biblical submission which is a characteristic of being controlled by the Holy Spirit.  See Ephesians 5:18 – 6:9.

• Are you a stranger to your children?  Do you know them?  The Lord said “My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me.”  Sheep will not follow a stranger.  To know one’s children is to be involved in their lives.  It will be difficult to lead your children if you are not there.
• It will be difficult to lead them if you believe it is the wife’s responsibility to raise the children.  Parenting is a team effort. To be a team member one must be present and conscious of what is happening in the home.  
• The true shepherd gives his life for the sheep.

A memory that I often recall with great emotion is triggered by a picture that was taken during the county fair when all four of our children were showing cattle.  It was a silhouette of myself and our children leaning on show sticks and facing each other just outside a holding corral.  

All four of our kids were facing me and listening as I talked with them.  Although I was most likely not giving spiritual instruction at the time, that picture reminds me of Deuteronomy 6:6 & 7 where God instructs fathers as follows:

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.”

Spiritual leadership can be as simple as being interested in the things of God and as profound as having a devotion to Christ and His word that shows up in one’s own life first.  

Spiritual leadership should involve taking the initiative.  Taking the initiative begins with priorities.  What is most important in my own life?  It should be my personal relationship with God followed by my relationship with my wife and my children.  Is there evidence that these are my priorities?  

• Do not demand that the family be spiritual.  They can no more produce spirituality by demand than anyone can increase height by taking thought.  Spiritual life and it’s evidence is from God.  
• Do not be discouraged if there is no spiritual evidence in the life a child.   Be glad you are not being deceived by outward conformity.  A gentle reminder to a rebellious child should be “the way of the transgressor is hard”.
• Parents should pray for their children as Job did for his. 
• Parents should live out their own relationship with God in front of their children.  It should not be acting, it should be genuine.
• A wise man once observed that although God has a multitude of children,  there are some who may not be presently living for Him.  Does that make God a bad parent?  

During my college days in Atlanta, I picked up a Christian publication one day that was left in a pew after chapel.  There was a poem in that paper entitled “Don’t Quit”.  

I was so impressed by the message of that poem that I cut it out of the paper and kept it nearby for many years after that.  I lost track of it a few years ago when changing jobs and I just recently found it again.  I would like to share it with you.

DON’T QUIT!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low, and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out,

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,  

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem worse,

that you must not quit.

John Greenleaf Whittier

“And let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season, ye shall reap if ye faint not.” Galatians 6:9

The image of Christ that matters is not in a mud puddle, on a weather beaten wall, in the clouds of the sky, or on an ancient burial cloth.  For the believer the image of Christ should be visible each time we look in the mirror.  When you and I look in the mirror, what is it that we see?

“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son,………” Romans 8:29.

The song writer Thomas O. Chisholm expressed it well in his hymn;

“O to be like thee!  O to be like thee,  Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art!  Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness, Stamp thine own image deep on my heart.”

The book of Acts records the birth of the New Testament church.  It is a history of the church’s beginning.  The book of Acts is also a book of transition.  It records the transition from the Old Testament to the New Testament.

Some aspects of the Holy Spirit’s work changed during this transitional period.  During the Old Testament period He came upon individuals to enable them to perform certain God ordained tasks and then He departed.

In the New Testament the Holy Spirit would now indwell individual believers, sealing their salvation and making them a habitation of God through the Spirit until the day of redemption.

Because the Book of Acts is a book of history and transition, it is not necessarily a standard for church ministry.

Let me illustrate.  When planning a trip one prepares the vehicle by changing the oil and filters, purchasing new tires if required, checking belts for wear, the battery for life and all the fluid levels, etc.

When departing on the trip and arriving at the first stop sign, one does not repeat the changing of the oil, filters, and tires or the checking of the belts, fluids, battery, etc.  It is not necessary to repeat these procedures every time one stops the vehicle.

Some of the aspects of the Holy Spirit’s ministry which were recorded during the birth of the church were no longer necessary once the New Testament church was established.

Jesus Christ came teaching, preaching and healing to prove to the Old Testament Jew that He is the promised Messiah.  The New Testament Apostles continued that ministry, enabled by the Holy Spirit, until the New Testament church was established.

Once the church was established the sign gifts (to Israel) of and by the Holy Spirit ceased.  Attempts in the contemporary church to imitate or re-create these gifts today causes confusion in the body of believers and overshadows the practical every day working of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer as set forth elsewhere in the Scriptures.

Jesus speaking: 

“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.”

“Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?”

“Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.”

“He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me.” John 14:21-24

Jesus continues:

“If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his  love.”

“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

“Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” John 15:10-14

“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.” John 3:18

The only sin that can send anyone to hell is unbelief.  All other sins can be forgiven.  God has made provision for forgiveness of our sin through the substitutionary death, burial, and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ.  The only sin that will keep one from accessing that provision of salvation and forgiveness in Christ alone is the sin of unbelief.

Is an infant capable of committing the sin of unbelief?  If not, then what is the purpose for baptizing infants?  

No one goes to hell for Adam’s sin.  The only sin that can keep one from accessing God’s grace for salvation and forgiveness is the sin of unbelief (John 3:18).

• No parent wants their child to be unforgiven and separated from God.  Most parents would gladly paint themselves with purple polka dots if their spiritual leaders said it was necessary to keep the child out of hell.  The problem is that the Bible gives no precedent or instruction for purple polka dots or infant baptism.  
• Parents expect their spiritual leaders to give them good instruction, rightly dividing the word of truth.  The Bible is the foundation for all we know concerning Christianity.  Without the Scriptures there would be no basis for Christianity.   Church tradition that violates biblical truth is heresy and is a violation of a sacred trust between the people, their spiritual leaders and God.  
• The Holy Spirit is the author of Scripture and He never contradicts Himself.  He is God and He cannot lie.  Christians are supposed to be people of the Book.  That is why Christians need to read the Bible and study it for themselves, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.  “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” I John 4:1

He Is Risen!!!

The written word is living, powerful, sure, light, life, truth, exalted, fire, eternal, and it is my meditation.

It is the agent of salvation, spiritual growth, sanctification, cleansing, and the Spirit’s filling.

We are to hear it, read it, receive it, believe it, keep it, obey it, teach it, preach it and remember it.

It brings love, faith, hope, joy, wisdom, strength, boldness, growth, conviction, power, healing and judgment.

The written word reveals Christ.

Have you seen Him today?

“God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth” John 4:24.

Hebrews 11:1 describes faith as the substance of things hoped for (confidently assured of) and the evidence of things not seen. Because God is a Spirit, John 1:18a declares “No man hath seen God at any time”.  The triune God in his divine essence has never been seen by mortal flesh, but all men know he is there.  His law is written upon our hearts.  The heavens declare his handiwork and testify of God’s invisible presence which we see through the eyes of faith.

The source of faith is God.  Faith is a gift from God.  Romans 12:3 says that we are to “think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith”.  Speaking concerning the distribution of gifts by the Holy Spirit, I Corinthians 12:9 says “to another individual – is given faith by the same Spirit”.  Hebrews 12:2 says “Looking unto Jesus (who is God), the author and finisher of our faith”.  

W.E. Vine’s dictionary of New Testament words defines faith as a firm persuasion or conviction based upon hearing.  “So then, faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God” Romans 10:17. If you want to have faith or to increase the faith that you already have, then study the Scriptures with a willing heart.  Developing a strong faith is a process of growth in God’s word, line upon line, precept upon precept.

Faith is vitally important.  Faith is necessary to please our Creator. “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” Hebrews 11:6.  God desires to give the gift of faith to all men, but he will not give it to those who resist his Spirit.

Saving faith is faith which rests only upon Christ’s merit and work on the cross.  His once for all death, burial, and resurrection give us access to God’s gift of salvation.  Although our works do not factor into salvation, when one is saved or born again, works follow salvation.  James 2:20 says that faith without works is dead.  

II Corinthians 5:17 states “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.”  After a person is saved, the things or works that characterized his/her life as an unbeliever fade away and are replaced by new things or works that are characterized by obedience to Christ and His word.  Faith that does not produce “new things” is dead.

In our everyday Christian life, there should be a proper order concerning; what our faith is based upon, our faith itself, and our feelings.  The facts of Scripture always come first.  Our faith is built upon God’s promises, therefore our faith follows the facts of Scripture.  Feelings are last and should always follow in that order.

Sometimes as Christians we do not feel saved, loved, or secure in our relationship with God.  We must always remember that our faith is built on the facts of God’s word (God cannot lie), not our feelings. If we allow feelings to take the lead, our Christian life will take on the roller coaster ride that feelings often do.  We will become unstable and inconsistent Christians.

Hebrews chapter eleven is the “Hall of Faith”. The whole chapter is devoted to hero’s of the faith. There are many familiar faithful listed and some that may be  surprising.  

There are many results of faith.  When faith is properly placed we have access to salvation (Ephesians 2:8&9), peace (Romans 5:1), rest (Hebrews 4:1-3), joy (I Peter 1:8), understanding (Hebrews 11:3) and more. Check them out.

“The just shall live by faith” (Romans 1:17).  Faith is a way of life.  It is not a blind leap in the dark.  Faith is founded upon the truth of God’s word.  Faith’s objective is to know Jesus Christ and the power of his resurrection.  

If you are not a believer, you should know that “as many as received him (Jesus Messiah), to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them who believe on his name” (John 1:12).

Review “Walking in the Spirit” in this blog.  Submission for both husbands and wives is a characteristic of being filled (controlled) by the Holy Spirit.

Review “For Christian Husbands” to get the context of biblical submission for both the husband and the wife.

For wives, God provides only one word-picture concerning submission and it is found in verse 22 of Ephesians 5.  The word-picture is to submit unto your own husbands as the church submits unto Christ.  Please note that it says to submit to your own husbands.

• Remember, submission to one another is a characteristic of being filled or controlled by the Spirit.  For the Christian it is the result of yielding to God’s word and obeying it.  Biblical submission covers many more relationships than just the husband/wife relationship.  See Ephesians 6:1-9.

Submission is a necessary part of every day life for both believers and unbelievers.  Everyone must obey traffic laws, although some obey less than others.  Working people have a boss to whom they must submit or risk losing their job.  Government is an authority in most people’s lives and there are penalties for ignoring this reality. Authority and submission create an atmosphere of order and responsibility.

The presence of authority and the reality of submission do not make those who are submitting inferior.  When God the Son submitted to God the Father, His submission made the Son no less God than He already was.

• Those in authority over others have the greater responsibility.

Those in authority will give account for those under their care. They will give account for their decisions that have affected the ones under their leadership.

It is the husband and father to whom God has assigned spiritual leadership.  It is the husband and father who will give account for the spiritual atmosphere of his home and the spiritual training of his children.

Wives should help the husband maintain the spiritual atmosphere and spiritual training, but the wife should not assume this responsibility for the husband or enable him to shirk it altogether.

In my opinion, it is just easier for husbands to give up this responsibility.  Many wives will gladly take the spiritual leadership role from the husbands, but it may very well be at a cost.**

A popular family radio ministry recently put out statistics on how the children are affected when the father assumes spiritual leadership as opposed to when the mother provides the sole spiritual leadership.

The statistics show that when the father provides spiritual leadership, the children are more likely to follow his leadership as an adult.  The father’s role in this area is pivotal.

If the husband and father is a reluctant spiritual leader, the wife must be patient.  Know that God understands all situations. Although it may seem impossible for one’s husband to become a spiritual leader, with God nothing is impossible.  The wife should let God change her and God will use that to change the husband (I Peter 3:1).  Husbands should note that this also works in reverse.

• Read the book of Esther and take note of how she was used of God to save the Israelites from the scheming of Haman.  Did she make demands?  Was she patient?  How was her patience manifested?  How did she deal with the absolute authority of the king?
• Make a list of the characteristics of the church’s submission unto Christ (Ephesians 5:22).
• Meditate on ways to make the characteristics of the church’s submission to Christ, the characteristics of your relationship to your husband.
• Share what you’ve learned with someone else.
• Place the list in your Bible and periodically review and revise it, if necessary.

 ** The wife may be perfectly capable of providing spiritual leadership in the home.  She may have been a Christian longer than the husband.  She may be more mature spiritually.  She may know more Bible than her husband.  She may be a better teacher and reader when it comes to presentation and family devotions.  

Why not let her take the ball and run with it?  The answer is simple; it is not God’s order.

So what does a Christian wife and mother do if her Christian husband is not as well educated, gifted or spiritually mature as she?  Provide him with input and respect his decisions.

Even a fool will come to respect the consistent input and wise perspective of one who is always graciously supportive.