Review “Walking in the Spirit” in this blog.  Submission for both husbands and wives is a characteristic of being filled (controlled) by the Holy Spirit.

Review “For Christian Husbands” to get the context of biblical submission for both the husband and the wife.

For wives, God provides only one word-picture concerning submission and it is found in verse 22 of Ephesians 5.  The word-picture is to submit unto your own husbands as the church submits unto Christ.  Please note that it says to submit to your own husbands.

• Remember, submission to one another is a characteristic of being filled or controlled by the Spirit.  For the Christian it is the result of yielding to God’s word and obeying it.  Biblical submission covers many more relationships than just the husband/wife relationship.  See Ephesians 6:1-9.

Submission is a necessary part of every day life for both believers and unbelievers.  Everyone must obey traffic laws, although some obey less than others.  Working people have a boss to whom they must submit or risk losing their job.  Government is an authority in most people’s lives and there are penalties for ignoring this reality. Authority and submission create an atmosphere of order and responsibility.

The presence of authority and the reality of submission do not make those who are submitting inferior.  When God the Son submitted to God the Father, His submission made the Son no less God than He already was.

• Those in authority over others have the greater responsibility.

Those in authority will give account for those under their care. They will give account for their decisions that have affected the ones under their leadership.

It is the husband and father to whom God has assigned spiritual leadership.  It is the husband and father who will give account for the spiritual atmosphere of his home and the spiritual training of his children.

Wives should help the husband maintain the spiritual atmosphere and spiritual training, but the wife should not assume this responsibility for the husband or enable him to shirk it altogether.

In my opinion, it is just easier for husbands to give up this responsibility.  Many wives will gladly take the spiritual leadership role from the husbands, but it may very well be at a cost.**

A popular family radio ministry recently put out statistics on how the children are affected when the father assumes spiritual leadership as opposed to when the mother provides the sole spiritual leadership.

The statistics show that when the father provides spiritual leadership, the children are more likely to follow his leadership as an adult.  The father’s role in this area is pivotal.

If the husband and father is a reluctant spiritual leader, the wife must be patient.  Know that God understands all situations. Although it may seem impossible for one’s husband to become a spiritual leader, with God nothing is impossible.  The wife should let God change her and God will use that to change the husband (I Peter 3:1).  Husbands should note that this also works in reverse.

• Read the book of Esther and take note of how she was used of God to save the Israelites from the scheming of Haman.  Did she make demands?  Was she patient?  How was her patience manifested?  How did she deal with the absolute authority of the king?
• Make a list of the characteristics of the church’s submission unto Christ (Ephesians 5:22).
• Meditate on ways to make the characteristics of the church’s submission to Christ, the characteristics of your relationship to your husband.
• Share what you’ve learned with someone else.
• Place the list in your Bible and periodically review and revise it, if necessary.

 ** The wife may be perfectly capable of providing spiritual leadership in the home.  She may have been a Christian longer than the husband.  She may be more mature spiritually.  She may know more Bible than her husband.  She may be a better teacher and reader when it comes to presentation and family devotions.  

Why not let her take the ball and run with it?  The answer is simple; it is not God’s order.

So what does a Christian wife and mother do if her Christian husband is not as well educated, gifted or spiritually mature as she?  Provide him with input and respect his decisions.

Even a fool will come to respect the consistent input and wise perspective of one who is always graciously supportive.