Who Is Responsible?

When it comes to spiritual things the Bible is very clear about spiritual leadership. The responsibility for spiritual decisions and direction in the home lay squarely upon the shoulders of the husband and father.

This does not mean that the wife should have no input.  It should mean that once the wife has had input, the matter is the husband’s to decide.

I say all that to say this to the wife.  Do not give the husband permission to make a bad decision.  Some husbands will badger their wives until they just give up and say: OK, go ahead and do it.  This is giving him permission to make a bad decision and it makes the wife party to it.

When scenarios like this occur, the wife should keep the responsibility for the decision squarely on her husband’s shoulders.  Here is how that is done.  The wife should say: I understand that this is what you want to do.  I disagree, and I think proceeding will be a mistake, but this is your decision to make.  Don’t argue, plead or manipulate.  Try to keep the emotion out of it and resume normal conversation.

This conversation should always follow the same pattern when the husband wants to make a bad or wrong decision.  Spirit led submission does not mean that the wife should agree to do wrong or use bad judgment.  If the husband proceeds, his decision will affect the home, but the wife needs to be patient and trust the Lord with her husband.   After making a couple of bad decisions, it should dawn on the husband that there is wisdom in the wife’s input.  Only a fool would continue to ignore sound advice.

If the husband realizes his decision is wrong, this is not the time to say: I told you so, or to blow it off by saying: It’s OK, no big deal.  It is a big deal.  Just let it sink in and reassure him of your love.

(Of course I am not talking about illegal activity on the part of the husband.  Some felonies, if not reported before the fact, make the wife an accomplice.)

(Lest someone think this is misogynistic, this counsel also applies to Christian men who find themselves under another person’s authority.)

Note: Ultimately the wife will learn to trust the Lord with her husband,…….even when he is wrong.

…let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…

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