The clear teaching of the New Testament is that marriage is (1) a ceremony, John 2:1-10, (2) a spiritual union, Ephesians 5, and (3) a physical union, Hebrews 13:4.* See also Covenant below.
Marriage is God’s Idea
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause (purpose) shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6
Cleave – “to join fast together, to glue, cement,…..primarily said of metals…..”.** God is the joiner or welder. The two becoming one flesh is God’s work. We are not to mess with it (Proverbs 6:32).
Marriage Is a Physical Union
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4a
Christian Marriage is a Picture of Christ & the Church
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Ephesians 5:22-24
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. Ephesians 5:28
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:33
Marriage Is a Covenant
Marriage is a covenant but not in the sense of the English use of the word. “In contradistinction to the English word covenant (lit., a coming together), which signifies a mutual undertaking between two parties or more, each binding himself to fulfill obligations, it does not in itself contain the idea of joint obligation, it mostly signifies an obligation undertaken by a single person.”**
In other words the covenant of marriage does not depend upon the action or lack of action of the other party. It is dependent upon the keeping of the vow by the one making the promise.
…let the word of Christ (Messiah) dwell (take up its life) in you richly…
*John P. McGraw, M.A.
**W.E. Vines Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words – Copyright 1984, 1996, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, TN.