All marriages have difficulties, even the best of marriages. The truth of the matter is that good marriages don’t just happen. It takes work, and it takes commitment, two things that are sadly lacking where you would expect them the most, in a Christian marriage.

• The difficulty with “work” in marriage is that the wife or husband usually wants to work on the other person’s problem first. The focus of the married Christian should be working on one’s own problems first and foremost. 

It is impossible to change the other person but it is always possible, with God’s enabling, to change one’s self.  When focusing on one’s self under the probing light of God’s word with a yielded spirit and a willing heart, there will be change.

• The problem with “commitment” is the “we want it all right now” culture.  If it is not convenient, bail out.

Unless a believer is in the word of God on a regular basis and being transformed by the renewing of his mind as a life-long commitment, the culture will leave its mark.

A Christian cannot be neutral or passive in regard to the word of God.  If he is, he will revert to the thinking and values of the culture.  This is the tendency of indwelling sin (Romans 7:15-25).

A believer is never free of indwelling sin until he steps into glory; that’s why it’s a life-long commitment.  He can have victory over indwelling sin by reckoning himself to be dead to sin through Christ living in him (Galatians 2:20).  Even the apostle Paul had to die daily.

The solutions for marital difficulties lie in one’s relationship with God.  God will get the believer through any difficulty, but the believer must be true to Him and obedient to His word.

Working on self in cooperation with God, and a life-long commitment to one’s own spiritual growth, will bring the believer through any problems that are encountered in his marital journey. The key is getting the plank out of one’s own eye first, over and over again.